Are you fucking serious? Really. He’s drunk and yelling at my brother.

I feel so down on my luck lahtely. Its just like ‘fuck, no one loves me

I got the newest issue of AP. When I saw Mr. McIlrath’s face on it; I just HAD to buy it. To be honest; life’s been pretty good lately ! I’ve been keeping out of trouble and I’m trying to get an apartment. I’ve still a lot going on in my life. I’m not trying to brag, but some guys are after me :/ That’s NOT what I need at the moment. I’m trying to get things going ON MY OWN. Why do guys not understand ? I admit, I have been changing but only a little bit. I am more of an optimist now. I want to get schooling down and sort out my family situation. I guess I learned from this whole thing is ‘you can’t count on anyone but yourself’ (as said in American Beauty[one of my favourite movies…well ever]). I am still trying to stay true to who I am but I’m trying to make myself satisfied with myself. I haven’t been satisfied with myself for years now.

Lately I just feel…mature.

Oh yes. My roadtrip to Chicago will happen.

Hey ! Well… if you want to actually talk to me about this, here’s my number; 226-203-2762. So please text me.

Ugh, it definetly has been a really long week. I got the job and started working at a little above minimum wage haha. Its been keeping my mind off of things and keeping me out of trouble while I’m gettingls paid. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m safe and sorta happy here. I am well cared for and obviously loved here. That’s all I ever wanted; and really all I’ll ever really need ! There’s still something that still feels wrong though. I just want something more … I’m not even sure what this is.

Anyway, its Easter weekend. I have to work Saturday night and then I’m off work for a couple days. Oh how I despise that word… couple. I got to meet up with some old friends yesterday, it was bloody cold outside. I’m tying to save up for an apartment now. It’s going to be insanely hard to live on my own but I can’t expect someone else (who’s not my parents) to take care of me. Oh yeah, I also got a new phone !!!

Anyways, I’m really tired so I’m going back to bed now. Goodnight Tumbla ;)

I can’t sleep lately. I really don’t even know what it is anymore All I can think about is him when I sleep. Just thoughts of what we used to be just cloud my head when I’m trying to sleep. Not even throughout the day anymore; it is quite frustrating. Now I can’t help but think ’ I can’t believe that part of my life is over’. I will definetly be way more careful next time. Some of my memories are cloudy; which worries me greatly.

Anways. My next mission is to finish highschool and get my own apartment. I think I really love someone. They have been in my life for a long time and probably won’t love me back like that. They have said I love you TONS of times but in a ‘friendly’ way.

Oh well. Love is stupid.

post-amerika:

alifesomewhereelse:

fuckyeaharandomblog:

theuglyhobo:

abracadabra in my pants

BEAST is the B2ST in my pants 

Sherlock in my pants!

Neverland in my pants.

(LOL seems legit)

Near theme 1 in my pants.

…lolwut

What shall we do now in my pants?

Savior in my pants lolololol

everchanging in my pants ;)

The Hell Song…in my pants

The grand optimist in my pants ;) It actually works !!

Today I saw this guy who happened to look like Tim McIlrath while I was standing in line for McDonalds.

I just wanted to turn around and say; “marry me.” But I’m a chicken shit. He did smile at me though :D

fucking cutie.

I’m so happy with my life lately ! I’ve finally got those people who were constantly bringing me down OUT of my life and I’ve began to start working !! I’m currently trying to get an apartment (on my own) so my grandma doesn’t have to look after me !

I even got her a present. She almost cried when I gave it to her !! I’m getting my clothes and things on the weekend ! I can’t wait to hold my baby Tim (my acoustic guitar) in my arms again.

http://guelph.kijiji.ca/c-real-estate-apartments-condos-1-bedroom-den-Mature-student-looking-for-a-1-bedroom-apartment-W0QQAdIdZ365053477

LOL

I got a job interview for the cutest pub today. I thought it was hilarious that they offered me some whisky as soon as I got in. That was seriously funny. I think it went very well !! I quite enjoyed the two girls who owned it and I think I might get this job !!! I just have to show my stuff tomorrow when I’m cooking.


Bring it on life ! ;)

I’m safe and happy now !! Thank god.


No word from him though; whichis becoming totally fine. I was so stupid to fall in love. SO naive. Not anymore. I can be self-sufficient.

Ugh. Hi Tumblr; if anyone ever reads these posts. I now do have a home (sorta).I live with my mom. It’s not safe and makes me depressed but it’s better then being on the streets or so I tought. I can’t even begin to explain the shit that goes on here. Like I have NO CLUE where my mother is right now. The only people that are keeping me going are moving out of this hellhole. That leaves a old lunatic, my alcoholic mother and depressed me. As for Edgefest, Rise Against and The Black Keys; they are all cancelled. The person I was supposed to go to those events with; won’t even talk to me after kicking me out o house. It’s pretty obvious the AMAZING thing we had going there is over. I can’t even talk to my family either.

I’m not even sure what to do anymore

I’m so upset right now. I thought I had escaped my dad’s house and I just began to get normak/ start my life. Seriously; I have EVERYTHING lined up. I was going to have money and online schooling but now I have to throw it all away. Why ? Because apparently; I have to go back to my dads. Correction; no.

I will go 6 hours away from all these people. Then once that’s done; I’ll move to Chicago. Or I could move out with friend and get in a relationship I don’t want to be in. I just never want to reach that level of low again.

Rolling In The Deep by Adele is on repeat. I have to get dressed so I can go out for a while. I don’t fucking care anymore.